How I Got Here, and Can You Have it All?

Welcome! The mission and why we're here!

Welcome to the Blog Momma! My main venture is my community, Momma Has Goals. I take what I teach in that community and customize strategic plans and frameworks for teams, moms, families, and communities. This is a basis of my work so I want to tell you a bit more about it.

Momma has goals as a movement and a mission. It’s the permission for women to live out life as more than. To unapologetically create the family in life that you want while pursuing your own dreams and goals too. Regardless of what your goals are, your ambitions, your career, your background or family dynamic.

Momma has goals is where we all come together to live a life of growth and not perfection with tools and resources and support to find happiness and fulfillment alongside the beautiful chaos of mom. This is the space for you to be vulnerable, real, bold, and loud. I want us to dream big, be messy, want more, have fun and everything in between.

You’re not alone. This is a movement, and together we are normalizing moms having goals and their own identity. I am so excited to be changing the narrative with you. So let’s buckle up because we’re just getting started, and this is mom Life reimagined. And to get started, I wanna kick off our first podcast episode with the question of, can you truly have it?

Mom Life Reimagined

When I think of reimagining mom life, I think of reimagining the possibilities. And one question that comes up is, can you have it all? And maybe you’ve thought this for yourself or you’ve heard it before, but like, what does that even mean, having it all? What I’ve learned through my journey is that there is a three step framework to figuring out what that means and having it all, and I’m gonna share that with you today.

But everyone has a different version of what having it all means to them. So maybe you feel like you’re going to have to put a sacrifice in one area. To achieve another, or you’re leaving a want or desire on the table, or maybe you just don’t even see the possible path for what you want. If you resonate with any of that, then this episode is for you.

This framework came from my own journey. And before we dive into the action steps, I wanna give you a really quick background of how I stepped into this version of having it all. And it wasn’t super pretty. It looked a little like this. You know, I was wearing diapers, I was leaking through my clothes. I was in need of a hair wash.

I was just able to start moving my body post C-section, and I had a great stash of Uncrustables for the middle of the night snacks. They’re truly the best. And I was utilizing my lack of sleep to daydream. I was two weeks postpartum, and I remember laying in our bed and I glanced over at my husband and I said, I think I wanna launch an ebook.

And he was super supportive, which was great. But then I had this realization in the. That I then had to pursue this idea because if I didn’t, I’d be the only one to. But I had no idea where to start. I didn’t really know really what an ebook entailed. I didn’t know anyone with an ebook, and I wasn’t sure that I had even read one.

And not to mention, we were really busy. We had a toddler and a newborn, multiple jobs, responsibilities, activities, but it sounded fun and. I was loving those little baby cuddles, don’t get me wrong, but I also knew I needed something to keep me busy during postpartum, and this was the first questioning that I had of what is having it all.

And I didn’t even see it that way at the time, but looking back at it, it was really that first step of permission for something different. And what’s truly crazy is fast forward less than two years later, and I’m here. So your version of having it all may look more put together than my most part a mess, or be very different than wanting to jump into an ebook or a business.

And I’m gonna help you get clear on what that is for you. But what’s most important is throughout this that you remember, it’s a journey and you stay focused on the journey and not the destination. Fall in love with having it all. That version of having it all. Each day while on the pursuit of having it all in the bigger picture.

What Does it Mean to "Have it All"?

So what does that even mean? Okay. Well, let me give you an example of what it’s looked like for me. In the last year, I’ve launched a phone app. I left my full-time job to pursue this community in business. I’ve met some of the most amazing and impactful people and our families is actually currently living in an Airbnb.

It truly all started with that, allowing myself to wonder what if I could have it all, and what is having it all. So on a smaller scale, what that looks like is being able to play astronaut with my son five minutes ago, using his toy bucket as a helmet, and then jumping on to record this first episode with you just minutes later.

That makes me so happy to be able to do both of those things, and it’s a portion of my having it all. If you had asked me two years ago if I thought I’d be doing most of the things that I do now, I would’ve thought it was crazy because I didn’t know or see the path. I barely knew what I really wanted, let alone how to achieve what I did think I wanted.

It truly all started with wondering what if? What if I could pursue this little idea? And that wondering alone made me feel like I was allowing myself to say. To my version of having it all again, even if I didn’t really know what that was. And for you, allowing yourself to wonder and dream, that’s the first permission step you should take.

How Did I Get Here?

So going back to February, 2021, you could often find me with my infant on my chest and my laptop on my lap, and I was working those non-stable hours, building out a 56 day self-development challenge. It was based on how I felt I had changed my life the year before, and the premise was to take on one new thing a week to end the 56 days or the eight weeks with some solid new daily practices.

It included things like going outside, reading, getting your home in order, building up friendships. But what I didn’t realize in the moment, and I know now, is I was really building a map of what it meant to have it all and work towards that. So after creating this challenge, I wasn’t really sure what I was gonna do with it.

So I built out a community online and learned about the online business space. And while I was navigating what this next chapter looked like, I really just spent the rest. Maternity leave, hanging out with my babies and soaking in those moments until I jumped back into work, which I had an over full-time schedule.

And once I returned to work, I would catch myself knowing that I wanted to be working on this other fun project. And at the time, that’s truly all it was. It was a fun hobby and an outlet for me, but I started to feel this conflict of visions when it came to having it. Right. So returning to work, it changed up my schedule.

I had less time for me and my project, and I was also surrounded by more thoughts and commitments and not always positivity, and I started to get really clear that I wasn’t on track for my version of having it all. Having it all didn’t mean checking every box and being on over. But it meant slowing down to think about what life do I wanna live and how do I get there?

So with this in mind, I had no idea what to do next, but one day I got the courage to message a girl that I followed on Instagram and she was scaling her online business. So shout out to Miss Excel, aka Cat Norton. But that moment changed my. Simply sending a message to a stranger on Instagram. Kat met with me and she heard out my vision and my dreams and not only sharing it with her to get her perspective was helpful, but me really saying it out loud, really ingrained what that having it all was.

She then connected me with a few people to get me started, and those people have helped me learn so much in such a short period of. But throughout this process, I started to see this new path on my journey of having it all. I gained that clarity, connecting with these people, saying it out loud.

The Parallel Paths

You may not see your other path yet. But if you do, you may feel like you’re driving parallel that you’re on this road and you’re staring over to the side, seeing that other road going, how do I get there? And that’s where I was at because as I built up this community and network and I learned from these other people, I had this parallel path and I felt like I was trying to switch between the two and it wasn’t working out so great.

You see, I was gearing up for the biggest project of my career and I also had two. Needing their Momma. I had friends and family demands, a husband that I actually did wanna spend time with too, and a house full of chores and piling laundry. So I would literally find myself at times looking in the mirror wondering, are you crazy?

Do you really think you can have it all? But what I did come to learn was how to merge these two paths and really bring it to one journey of having it all. And so that’s the framework that I’m gonna share with you today. There are three main steps, and we’re gonna break them each down, but to give you an overview.

The first is identify and define what does it mean to have it all to you. The second is how are you gonna get there? What are the tools and resources and steps to making this a reality? And third, how do you stay present and love the journey along the way and not get caught up in just always working towards that destination?

Right? And this is an ever evolving process. So many things in life are, and we’re gonna answer these questions based on where you’re currently at and what currently comes up as desire and a want, but definitely come back to them because whether it’s big or small, when I catch myself feeling like, do you really think you can have it all?

I’ll come back to this and go through this framework myself. Let’s break it down.

3 Steps to "Having It All"

First is to truly identify for yourself. What does it mean to have or do it all for you? Think about where do you wanna go. What do you wanna achieve? Think about a day during the week or a weekend, a week at a time. What do those days and nights look like?

Does it include a specific amount of family time? What meals are you having? What does work or exercise or alone time look like? And for me, what I started to realize was I wanted to have work that I took pride in and I wanted to feel challenged. I wanted to spend time with friends and family and do fun things.

I wanted to be able to have meals that made my body feel good, but I also wanted to leave room for those days that maybe we weren’t so perfect, or we wanted to have something fun and I wanted flexibility and time in my day. And your list can look different, but think about the feelings and the things you’d like from day to week.

Not necessarily the box that you wanna check, but truly, how do you wanna feel if you can take a bird’s eye view and look down at your life on a daily and weekly basis. And once you get that picture in your head, you’ve gotten specific on that daily and weekly level, then you wanna break it out into the longer term.

And remember, you can always change your mind, but you just wanna start with what you currently feel and challenge yourself to really get in that. I wonder what if mentality. So think about the months, the years, and the beyond. What do vacations look like? What about holidays? Maybe attending activities with your kids?

Who are your friends? Who are their friends? What do you guys do for fun? What does your home look like? What does retirement look like? And when I thought about this longer term, I realized I wanted to travel and do fun things. I wanted to have a home that made me feel good. I wanted build memories with people that lit me up and made me excited about life, not just because I had a commitment to see them or be there, but that I truly loved spending time with these people.

I wanted flexibility and freedom to live life on my terms and have control for my schedule and the choice in our days. I wanted to be proud of myself, and I wanted to be unapologetic, truly about my desire to build an amazing family while also building up the best version of myself along the way. When I look back and think about the things that I’ve accomplished or the moments that I feel like, wow, I did it, I have it all, it’s because I knew what I was looking to achieve in that season. I was able to identify what I was going for and why. But, what’s way too common, and I caught myself in also, was that somehow after motherhood, once that box got checked, I lost sight of that. And when I looked at my day to day, and then I considered my long term version of having it all, they didn’t match.

They were like those two parallel paths that we talked about. I could see one and I was on the other, and there was no way to cross over in between the two.

So once you’re clear on what having it all means to you in this season two is how are you gonna get there? I’ll tell you right now that you probably won’t know, and that’s okay.

How would you know how to get to a place you’ve never been? You know, you see that road over there, but they’re not connected like we were talking about those two different paths. How would you get there? Well, you’d likely use a mapping or navigation tool, or you’d ask someone to give you directions, and this is truly no.

You really wanna stay curious and continue to ask yourself, not if you can have it all, but how you wanna stay in a problem solving mindset. And as you spot detours or speed bumps, you wanna stay open and search for an alternative route. But just remember to not do it alone. You really need to ask for those directions, expand your network.

Send the random person on Instagram a message, and allow yourself to receive and communicate where you need. Having that problem solver mindset and connecting myself with people who have been where I want to go, or they’re on a similar path. It’s definitely one of the most important actions that I’ve taken throughout this journey, and I could not emphasize the importance of it more.

Once you know what having it all looks like for you and you’re working on how to make it happen, the next step is to celebrate along the way! The number one way to ruin the pursuit of having it all is to look at it as a destination rather than a journey or multiple milestones. So, Before you were on path one and you saw path two and you weren’t sure how to cross over or combine paths, and you got the help, the support, the directions, and you found where they merge.

This is the success. You’ve identified your path. Now your job is to enjoy the scenery, the ride in the stops along the way. But if you just rush down that path, it won’t feel very good and you’ll miss out on so much. So take time to celebrate the combining of the paths to identifying that second path, to being present today, to acknowledging the small wins as well as the big ones, and fall in love with the process, the process of having it all as you already do, and what you’re creating and pursuing forward.

Putting it all together!

So maybe you’re feeling excited and eager to take this all in, and maybe you’re feeling unsure or a little overwhelmed and confused. So let’s just take a moment. I want you to give yourself permission, permission to be you. Any version of you to step into this idea of having it all your way. Take a deep breath, you’re in the right place.

Those moments that you’ve wondered if you’re alone, if anyone understands your desire of having it. But also the confusion of not knowing what steps to take. We understand you’re not alone, and now you have the framework to move forward. So before we wrap this up, I want you to get off of this podcast and take the next step of having it all and knowing exactly what to do next.

So I wanna break back down those action steps that we just talked about with a few questions for you to take away and sit with. So if you’re driving. Come back to the show notes. But if you’re not, grab a notebook and write these down. First is, what does having it all mean to you? Going back to step one, allow yourself to truly dream having it all.

And then some, some people call this crazy unicorn brainstorming, and I love that description of it. You truly wanna put no limits on this. You wanna dream big. The small things, the big things, truly allow yourself to just wonder what. As you work through this, you may notice that you have this mean girl in your ear telling you why that’s not realistic, but that happens and I just want us to debate her.

Let’s hear her side of the story. Let’s acknowledge it. Why don’t you think you can have it all or do this right now? So once you’ve identified your version of having it all, you’ve heard out your mean. The third step is to problem solve and overcome those objections for yourself. Even if it doesn’t seem possible, write down.

If I had a magic wand and I could get the missing pieces I would need, they would be, if there was a solution, even if you had no idea who or how, if there was any possible solution or even a portion of a solution, what would that solution potentially look? Truly problem solve and ask yourself, how can you find or search for someone who may be a solution for you, or even someone who has previously found their own solution but could help you find yours?

Is there anyone out there living out parts of your version of having it all? You don’t have to see an exact replica. You probably won’t because you are unique, but if you could get a little piece from one person and a piece from another to truly allow yourself to find that map in those directions, you’d be really on track.

And lastly, write down one thing that you’re currently doing now that a past version of you would be grateful for or proud. I guarantee you have overcome something. I guarantee that you have achieved something that you set out to do, and this is proof that you’re meant to keep going and maybe listening to this podcast or the fact that you’re allowing yourself to even question how you could have it all.

That’s the very thing to be proud of. As you work through all of this, it’s just so important to remember that your story is yours. Friends, family, partners, coworkers, they don’t have to understand your version of doing it all, and honestly, they likely won’t. Many didn’t for me, and that’s why it’s so important for you to acknowledge what’s on your mind and your heart.

It’s not their job to understand you, but it is your job to understand. If I’m being real, I basically see that you have two options. One, you overcome the imposter syndrome, the mom guilt, the concerns of what others think, any other limiting beliefs, and you allow yourself to step into the possibility for doing it all, your version of doing it all, or two, you always wonder what if on the sidelines of your own life, I know it sounds harsh, but it is your choice, and I’ll recommend option one from Experie.

Okay, let’s breathe Again. I know that you have some homework and I think that it is so important that you take some time to work through that, but throughout the rest of your day, also, try things on in your life that are currently already there. Look at it and go, Hmm, do I like this? Do I want this to stay in my version of having it all?

That’s truly the first step, just being aware and questioning what if. But on that note, I’m off to read stories to my kids for bed and have my own bubbly beverage. Chat soon Momma, XOXO

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